Once upon a time there was a young girl, named Eliza. She was the daughter of a king and so she never had to work. She became very lazy. She had her servants do everything for her.
She called her servant when she was so thirsty. Immediately a servant picket the glass up from the table next to Eliza and held it up to her lips until Eliza was no longer thirsty.
Then next day, Eliza was walking to dinner when her hat fell off, she called for a servant and a young man ran over, picked up the hat, dusted it off and placed it back on Eliza’s head.
She continually called for her servants to do simple tasks for her. Her father notice for laziness and decided to punish her. He set her in a room with only a loom and some yarn. No servants were allowed in the room.
Eliza called for her servants, but no one appeared. Then she remembered her father telling her about Athena. Athena is a goddess of wisdom and handicraft. She called for Athena over and over until finally she fell asleep.
While she was sleeping, she had a dream. Hermes spoke to her in her dream. He said that Athena was very angry with Eliza and she would tell Eliza’s punishment.
Eliza awoke very frightened. She then saw that there was an owl on the edge of her window. The owl spoke to her. She said that she was Athena. She would make Eliza a lowly animal because she very laziness.
Eliza would have to work constantly just to stay alive. People would look down at the digest. She would kill just because she was insignificant. All of her children would have the same face.
Finally, Eliza worked for the rest of her life. All of her children have a same fate. They doomed to be ants for the rest of their lives.
agung diah ,,,your story is good
BalasHapusi like it
you have a creative idea to make the conflict of your story,, em,,,i think the get the best,
you add some conversation in that story or some dialogs,,,
em,,,your grammar is also good enough,,
try and try again until it is perfect,,,
good luck
your story is good, gung, though a bit too short. But it would be great if your add a conversation and proverbs in this story.
BalasHapusthe moral value that i could get is we have to be independent person....don't be like EliZA the main character......although we have power to ask some one to do our wants, but it is wrong habit....we have to appreciate all the thing which have been given by our GOD....use your hands and all parts of your body to do everything....great job
BalasHapusi like to read your story, but it would be great if you add a dialogue in your story...nice....
BalasHapusyou done it well , but you have to add some dialog and more conflict to make it better. Also, you might add some proverbs or idioms . Nice posting :)
BalasHapuslike what Fitri said, you have to add dialogs in your story....it can make the story longer and more interesting....
BalasHapusbut, you did your task well...good job!
i think it will be better if you add some dialogue...
BalasHapusalthough your story is short, i like to read it... it will be nice, if you add some conversation and may be some idioms or proverbs..
BalasHapusNice story Sist!
BalasHapusAs long as we can do the job by ourselves, we should not bother the others. So, let's try to be the independent person.I agree with what our friends said, you need to add some dialogues and the content of vocabulary. Good luck!
good story gung..
BalasHapusbut it will look more interesting if you add some proverbs or idioms and conversation :)
nice story girl,,,
BalasHapusbut you should add some conversations in your story to be more interesting, and keep attention in using an article "the".
thx
it is very simple. but touched cause i realized now how the Almighty God does His job to a person who life like a white elephant.
BalasHapusGreat job, sista!
i like this. your grammar haven't any mistake, but you have to add some proverbs or idioms within.
This story is interesting..
BalasHapusLike the other, you should add conversation. From this story we can learn to be independent person.... Are you got idea actually from your self? Your story is good idea. I like your story.. :)
all: thank you for your comment. i know you already tired to read all of the stuff here and other blog. so, i just can say thank you. i appreciate you to waste your time to read this,:)
BalasHapus